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Spend time with your child
Spend as much time as possible with your child and enjoy things
that take the focus off the divorce. If you have more than
one child, do not show favoritism to one child over the other,
and if possible, be sure to spend equal time with each child.
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Keep a regular routine
This is not the time to make unnecessary changes in the child's
life. Try to keep the child in the home and school with which
he or she is familiar. If you must make changes, keep the child
in contact with the children and adults to whom he or she is
attached.
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Get additional training and help
If possible, attend a parent education seminar
or class within 30 days after filing for divorce. Please call
our office (979-849-8526)
and our staff can help you find a class near you as well as
the dates and times of each class. Click here for information
on "For
Kid's Sake" seminars in Brazoria County.
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Be civil to your spouse during the divorce
Divorce is stressful enough without adding angry,
hostile and other negative behaviors. While you and your spouse
will not agree on all issues, keep everything as civil as possible
and allow the attorneys and judge to do their jobs. Negative
behaviors will affect your children whether you are aware of
it or not.
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Don't force your child to choose sides
Do not verbally attack your spouse within your
child's hearing range. Do not coerce or bribe your child to choose
you as the
custodial parent. If the other parent insists on involving
your child in the fight, resist the urge to do the same.
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Do not discuss litigation issues with your child
Do not discuss litigation issues, such as court hearings,
discovery and other adult matters that children should not
be forced to deal with.
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Don't expose your child to a new romantic partner
until after the divorce
Your child may be hurt and confused with this new relationship.
Additionally, it may complicate your divorce and lead to additional
turmoil between you and your spouse. Most children are too
young and immature to handle these types of situations. Please
wait until after the divorce is final before introducing that
new person to your children.
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Avoid issues over child support
A child should not know that child support designated for
him or her is causing problems. Additionally, a child should
not be told that the other parent is more concerned about the
money than the child. Discussing child support issues with
your child may make your child feel that they are at fault
for the problems it is creating. For example, don't make statements
in front of your child like "'I would buy you new shoes
if only your mother/father would pay child support".
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Follow the orders of the court and avoid conflict
over possession periods
The common reasons parents are unable to comply with possession
orders are:
- Failure to have the child ready or return the child on
time
- Failure to give the other parent important information,
such as places and times of school and extracurricular activities
- Failure to understand the terms of the order or decree.
If you have questions, call us first so we can address the
issues before it becomes a problem that may result in further
litigation because the other parent became angry
- Failure to send or return a child's belongings
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Finally, have confidence in yourself as a parent
All parents have and will continue to make mistakes with their
children, and divorce can sometimes add to the stress a parent
feels. Trust your abilities as a parent and continue to show
your children that you love them.